Why Your Children Need To Make Eye Contact When Talking To Others
“I have realized how little eye contact we make with others as we rush through our day and how hard it actually is to be fully present in the moment…”
– Coach Sabine Brandt from NobilityCoaching.com.
Making eye contact is an important element in good conversation skills. We can get so rushed in our day to day activities that we fail to fully appreciate those around us. Making eye contacts lets others know that we value them and that we’re paying attention. Eye contact is a must know skill for ourselves as well as our kiddos.
Teaching Good Eye Contact
1. Model good eye contact yourself. Many adults have trouble making eye contact, too. If that’s you, follow the same strategies recommended for your children.
2. Don’t be surprised if your child has difficulty making eye contact with others. This will improve with maturity and training.
What Not To Do
– Don’t be embarrassed if your child ducks their head when they speak directly to someone.
– Don’t apologize for their behavior.
– Publicly don’t prod your child to look at someone’s face.
– Don’t tell everyone that your child is just shy.
– Don’t put labels on your child’s actions. You don’t want to make a big deal about a behavior they will likely outgrow.
How You Can Help
• Recommend that they look in a person’s general direction when they speak to someone.
• When you’re at home, help them practice looking at people when they talk.
• You can encourage them to look at your forehead or your face while they tell you about their day.
• Play the “Let’s Lock Eyes” game to see who can look at each other the longest without glancing away.
As they become more comfortable with these games and strategies at home, they will start connecting to other people when they talk to them, and “look them in the eye.”
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I've taught public and private school and I'm a “veteran homeschool mom.” My husband, Ron, and I homeschooled our two sons from birth through graduation and helped launch them into adulthood and business.
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How right you are! Eye contact is so important and a priceless lesson to teach children.
Caroline, I know eye contact can be a hard lesson to learn for adults, but it’s also a great
conversation tool that teens and young adults need to learn, too.
This is a great post! I know I have a hard time sometimes managing eye contact w/ others while I’m talking. I can keep it while THEY are talking. My hubs always says to me, “I’m over here!” because I’m always looking around while I talk. :/ My son is very shy & it’s almost impossible for him to look at other people (outside of the home) in the eyes.
Looking at someone while they are talking is important, too. It shows that we are listening
to what they have to say and I think it’s a sign of respect. Thanks for sharing.
Great tips. Making eye contact encourages people not only to listen to what you’re saying, but also to take what you’re saying more seriously. Also, eye contact implies respect- both the giving and the getting.
I think looking at someone when they speak to you definitely conveys respect plus
it let’s them feel like you truly are listening to them.
Thanks for stopping by.
Teaching how important eye contact is to kids with ADHD is very important. Thank you for this resource!
OK, these are great tips. I’m pretty sure I’ve already done all the “no-no’s” too. 🙂 Thanks for helping me to be a better mama on this topic! 🙂 One thing I cannot stand is when an adult (especially one in a position of leadership) doesn’t look at me when I’m talking to them but always looks over me for the next task/person to encounter. That taught me a great lesson for how to treat my children when we’re speaking with each other!
Thank you for your comments, Tauna. Looking over or beyond the person you are speaking to is definitely a no-no in my
book, too. People are looking for sincere and respectful relationships. One of the ways we can truly show our interest
in what someone is saying is to concentrate on them when they speak to us. Thank you for your insight.
It drives me nuts when my 12 year old daughter wont make eye contact. I would love any other information out there on the subject. I have done all the no-nos too. I will be sure to correct myself!!!